Lexipoeia
2008 Word-of-the-Year Pre-Roundup
By Sam Linton
Posted January 8th, 2008.
Aloha, y'all! Well, 2008 is finally upon us, and after all of the hype, I'm a bit disappointed. Linguistically speaking, that is. Merriam-Webster, great publisher of "words of the year" lists, who in 2006 famously legitimized Stephen Colbert's version of "truthiness," has come out with their picks for 2007's words of the year and the best that they could come up with was "w00t"? A word that I can remember using as far back as 2001, when I was still playing Starcraft, for God's sake?! Now, I don't know if the fault lies with Merriam-Webster or with the English-speaking public at large, but great new words on the rest of that list are also few and far between. Granted, "facebook" does have its rightful place there, especially as a verb, and "sardoodledom" is so old and quirky it can be new again, but the rest of those words are just so pedestrian that they hardly merit mentioning on a "year's end" list (with the exception of "Pecksniffian," which sounds good, but is really just a stupid word without much practical application. Not like sardoodledom at all).
However, 2007 is the past and 2008 has not yet gone into full swing, so there's still time to save this year with a bunch of handy new words, expressions, etc., that will hopefully make aught-eight more like aught-six, linguistically speaking. Now, this is just a handful of suggestions; as always, I encourage, nurture, and champion efforts by my readership to enliven the language with their own contributions (my email is always active for reader contributions, by the way). But hopefully, these much needed few'll get the ball rolling (as well as get integrated into common everyday speech, which is the goal for any words ever presented in this column).
TVD: Okay, why are people not saying this? How long have DVD collections of television seasons been in the popular consciousness? How many conversations have you had in the past year alone involving the watching of entire seasons at a time of television through the magic of DVD collections? (If you're me, lots!) Yet people still use the antiquated "TV on DVD" instead of the much more streamlined "TVD"? Outrageous! Granted, "TVD" doesn't technically stand for anything per se (Televised Video Disk?), but it's catchy, easy to understand, and refers to a culturally relevant movement that currently lacks a proper terminology, so for 2008, TVD is an absolute MUST!
Internaut: Adopted from the French "internaut(e)," a blanket term for a user of the internet. Arguably a less needed word than "TVD," as there are many current synonyms for net users (including "net users"); the archaic "websurfer" or "surfer" can still be legitimately used in describing someone who uses the internet primarily as something to be consumed, while the more current "netizen" tends to refer more to those who contribute something to the web community at large, be it through blogging (2004's Merriam-Webster word of the year), forum posting, or what have you. However, as a blanket term for all of these groups, I would suggest the more lyrical "internaut" over the prosaic "net user" just because I think we've arrived at that stage of net-usage. We're a lot more fluent in our internautical pursuits now, and the language ought to reflect that.
Terror-(blank): It's been long enough now that "terror," once seen as a legitimate social concern and valid excuse for the suspension of various civil liberties, has simply melded into the background noise of everyday life (this has been a gradual process, beginning about 2004). It's time for an ironic appropriation! For 2008, I say make "terror" the new "eXtreme"! Add an edge to even the most humdrum of activities by infusing them with the exotic energy of religious extremism. Don't just "mow the lawn" — give the lawn a "terror-mow"! Why "go shopping" when you can go "on the hunt for the terror-deals"? And "sleeping"? That's for people who haven't heard of "taking a terror-nap"! If we can get the ball bouncing on this one, 2008 won't just be a good year, it'll be (say it with me now)…terror-iffic!
P-Hone or P'Hone: Pronounced either "pee-hone" or "puh-hone," this word replaces the previous "phone" and is admittedly the least needed word on this list. But how cool does it sound, eh? Imagine, if you will, a world in which, rather than simply "calling someone on the phone," you "terror-ring them on the P-hone"; wouldn't that just rule? Perhaps I'm just a dreamer, but I have always imagined that I could one day live in the greatest of all possible worlds, and if I can legitimately use the phrase "terror-ring on the P-hone," perhaps then that day has finally come, or will finally come this 2008.
Well, that's all I can come up with now, but it sure beats "w00t." Can you do any better? Until next time, it's a living language — let's keep it that way!